Steroids, is it really their fault or is it the Milkshakes?

So after ending up with Lymphoma to add to my wonderful Lupus life (did Lupus cause the Lymphoma? Did the treatment for Lupus cause the Lymphoma???hmmm) I got prescribed even more steroids. You know, I would get the cancer that gets treated with fat causing agents, because my life is like that. I just can't lose weight. I am off of the steroids, but am so used to eating mammoth amounts , that portion control is unheard of in my life right now....
I think that it is easy to blame the steroids, while in fact the idea of dying made me not care. So I ate, and ate, and did not pay my credit card bills, because I wanted to die fat, in debt, but with great purses..
So I need to say no to the milkshakes and yes to my life, I am still here, still fighting, albeit a bit plumper and NO I cannot continue to blame the steroids, lets blame the shakes instead :O)

It is always the picture

People always talk about what started the weight loss journey... a health scare? a new love? or a divorce? clothes don't fit? Or is it the dreaded picture.  You know, the one where all of a sudden you look at it and don't recognize yourself!  That is what happened to me. I saw a picture taken at Christmas. My mom was in the hospital and I am laying on my side on her bed. My son was playing around with his iPad and took it. I was in shock. You see, I think I am fairly smart, logical and honest. I knew my clothes were tight and I knew I had gained weight, I just did not believe how I looked. I did not feel ugly or unhealthy. I actually felt that  for a forty year old I was still a little hot. Pictures don't lie however, and that picture was not pretty. So here I am in the throes of a weight loss journey. One that I embarking on without much enthusiasm but with determination. Here is to success and to being Forty and Hot!